Thursday, January 7, 2010

Did I expect too much?

Picture was taken while at a family reunion.
Lake Junaluska, NC July 2009

I've been pondering how I've been spending my time lately. As some of you know I got laid off from my job in April of 2009. I feel like all the productive, fun and adventurous things I planned to do before going back to work is slowly slipping away. I just wonder if I could have gotten more done. I'm not sure if I'm being too hard on myself... or maybe not hard enough? Being this is the first time in my adult life I have had this much time off, I expected great things. You know, my house completely organized and always clean, an amazing dinner every night of the week, all my started projects completed, volunteer, and oh.. I would get totally fit, in shape and look amazing. Well.. time is running out and I don't feel like I've accomplished that much. I'm certainly not fit, in shape, thus in my eyes don't look amazing, haven't completed all my projects, my house is partly organized, the house stays somewhat clean (not spotless), dinner well, let's just say some weeks are better than others. I did however have a perfect summer with my daughter and took a couple mini-vacations with friends and family. I also took time for me by enrolling in an online course, keeping up with my blog and working on my photography, all good things. Plus my Christmas was amazing, I have never baked so much in my entire life! I had a wonderful time with my husband and daughter, it was great having the time. But I just can't help but feel like I could have done more. I still have time, a week or so...then hopefully I'll be going back to work. I have loved being home, but the budget and my traveling gene doesn't like it as much!
I am wondering if I just expected too much. In all fairness to myself, I did do contract work from August to mid December, going into the office daily.
I am a bit disappointed in myself for not sticking to a better diet and exercise regime while I have had the time, I am working on that now. The other main projects that I need to complete is reorganizing the kitchen pantry and cabinets and reorganizing our bedroom. There is just too much unused stuff in the closet and way too many clothes and shoes I don't wear. Hopefully I will find the motivation to get those things done soon. My year is going to start getting busy and I need to make that "to do list" and get busy! Working full time for 23 years, I am not sure how I got half the stuff done I did. Wow! I guess maybe I do better under pressure and I do have an amazing partner that helps so so much. One thing is for certain, I am so much more relaxed, I'm happy and I am enjoying my time at home.

Happy Thursday... it's almost Friday!

Love & Peace,
Kim

3 comments:

Andria said...

I think you have done exactly what you needed to do for your heart and soul while you've been off. I think the rest will come in time. Sending positive thoughts your way.

Kim said...

Andria, thank you for your postive thoughts and reassurance, it means a lot. Thank you.

amelia said...

You know, I can see why you might feel the need to ask yourself this question- but, in reality, it sounds like you did what felt like the next right thing for you- and that is what matters! On a selfish note, I am glad you took the Unravelling class and spent time here on this yummy blog :-)
I want to hear more about the new job!